What Happens When You Fall Out of Love With Your Job?
I’m talking about falling out of love with your job, why you don’t have to keep proving yourself, a throwback to the pension era, and the permission to want something softer.
June 29, 2025
🌟 Welcome back to the Dreaming + Doing Sunday Digest, where we gather to restore, reflect, and prepare for the week ahead. Here’s the TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)
A story about why falling out of love with your work is not the crisis you might think it is.
A poll on where you are in your relationship with your job.
Hiring Trends to Know & Workplace wins and woes
Ask Ariane: Why you don’t have to keep proving yourself
A Throwback to the “stay for the pension” era
This week’s Messy Mantra
I was watching The Bear the other night, and there’s this scene that got under my skin in the best way. Sugar is on the phone with Carmy and says, “It’s okay to fall out of love, because the most special part about it is that you were capable of that love.” And I thought, well damn—what would it look like if we let ourselves talk about our careers that way? How many times have we reached the point when it just isn’t working anymore? What if we leaned into the grace of admitting that something we once deeply cared for no longer aligns with who we’ve become, or who we’re becoming?
I’ve been in this game a long time. If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: there will be seasons when you outgrow your work and start craving something more. A yearning for something different will emerge. You have to let your dreams evolve, even if that means stepping back and letting a chapter close so you can make room for new energy. All that to say—hold your jobs, your titles, and the accolades lightly.
In twenty years of working, some of it fulfilling, plenty of it challenging, some of it just a paycheck, and some of it slowly draining the marrow out of my bones, I’ve learned that sometimes you wake up and realize you don’t love it anymore. Maybe you’re burnt out. Maybe you’ve outgrown it. But instead of letting that knowing guide us forward, we guilt ourselves into staying. We grip onto who we once were because the thought of not being that person feels terrifying. We tell ourselves to stick it out. We think that leaving means we’re ungrateful or a failure. When really, it means we were brave enough to care deeply, and brave enough to stop when it started costing too much.
I wrote about this in Dreaming on Purpose, because I want us to normalize the truth: you can fall out of love with your career. You can honor everything it taught you and still choose to move on. You can want something softer, healthier, more spiritually aligned, without apology. The capacity to love your work is a gift. But the capacity to let go of what no longer fits? That’s freedom. And you deserve every bit of it.
Work Culture and Hiring Trends You Should Know
New MIT Study proves what we already know -- ChatGPT might be making us dumber.
This piece on how a Mamdani Mayorship will impact NYC workers.
Order three signed copies of Dreaming on Purpose before July 1st and get entered to win a free career strategy session with me. Paid subscribers only!
A Throwback: The “Stay for the Pension” Era
There was a time, especially in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, when falling out of love with your job didn’t matter. You stayed because you had to: for the pension, the benefits, the promise that if you just held on, you’d retire with security. Our parents and grandparents taught us that stability was the goal, not fulfillment.
And honestly? For many, it made sense. But we inherited that script—stay grateful, don’t rock the boat, ignore the dread—long after pensions disappeared.
Maybe it’s worth asking yourself what it could look like to choose something different now, even if you were never shown how.
Ask Ariane: I Just Don’t Care About Proving Myself Anymore. Is Something Wrong With Me?
Ok let’s normalize the fact that sometimes you just stop caring about playing office politics and climbing the damn ladder.
Maybe you used to be the one volunteering for every project, staying late, white-knuckling the wheel of your career. And now? Peace be thy name. You’re not losing sleep over proving yourself anymore. You trust your team to handle it. You mind your business at work and don’t take the stress home with you. This, my friends is freedom.
The truth is, when you outgrow the constant need to perform, it feels like a weight lifted. That closure is what makes space for the next thing, a new version of your dreams, your purpose, and yourself. You’re evolving. And if that means there’s something wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Messy Mantra for the Week (because healing is not linear)
That’s it for this week! If you enjoyed this, share it with three people you know, and I’ll see you back here next week. Until then: you are enough. Always. ✨
Ariane
Ways You Can Work With Me:
Read Dreaming on Purpose? Leave a review!
Book me to speak at your organization or women’s group
New Offering! Taking beta clients for content strategy. Slide in the DMs.